Having a child on my own was not how I had envisioned my journey to motherhood going. I am divorced and single, and couldn’t allow the twists and turns in relationships to be relevant any longer in my desire to be a mother. So here I was, reviewing donor profiles and looking for honest eyes. I went into the doctor’s office with a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, without a current partner, and more than a decade of infertility. I felt alone in this journey. The compassionate care I have received at Northwestern Fertility and Reproductive Medicine has been priceless. I felt safe and I needed that. I often appeared poised, but I had enough fears to stop an elephant. I had to trust that the universe would guide me once my intention was set in motion. This process has taken a physical, emotional and financial toll on me. I would somehow regain my optimism, but each failed cycle did something to my spirit. It was my second cycle that broke me. Yet, I was blessed for having experienced the wonders of pregnancy. I experienced cravings from salty foods to adding hot sauce to everything. I got queasy and saw my belly grow. The pregnancy was unsuccessful. I lost my twins and I am not the same person that started this journey almost two years ago. Receiving a Life Grant has been a moment of light and I am so grateful. I thank each of you. I just had my 43rd birthday and with all my realistic options on the table, we prepare for my fourth IVF cycle.
Nitzalis is a recipient of a financial Life Grant.