We met in late 2014 in stereotypical millennial fashion: online dating. After two years, it was clear we complemented each other very well and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together; however, there was one matter to settle—the desire to have children. It came as no surprise to us that building a family was a shared priority, profoundly engrained in both our personal and cultural values. We were both raised in large families with a strong emphasis on the values of love, devotion, and trust that extended beyond the traditional nuclear family unit. We knew we wanted to have a child to share this awesome sense of warmth, love, and support we continue to experience within our families.

The elephant in the room, though, was that by definition we are infertile as a cis-gendered, homosexual male couple. We would therefore require an egg donor and gestational surrogate to have a child that is genetically our own, nurturing the unique bond that heterosexual couples experience when they recognize their qualities in their children. Although we were born homosexual and found love in one another, we are determined to not be exempt from this extraordinary life experience.

We are now married and have had multiple experiences delaying our timeline to welcome our child into the world. Anthony completed his training as a pulmonary and critical care medicine physician and was a frontline doctor in the intensive care unit during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Tim was awarded a master’s degree and has developed a promising career in biomedical research. Our endeavors have taken us from one coast (Seattle) to the other (Boston); we have finally settled in Chicago, bought a home of our own, and saved money along the way to start our journey toward parenthood. We are excited, and most importantly committed, to take the next step.

Aside from the near decade of our relationship concentrated on our personal and professional goals, financial barriers have also significantly delayed our ability to start a family. Both of us have made sacrifices to save money to pay the enormous price tag associated with egg donation and gestational surrogacy.

We gained hope when our fertility doctor suggested we apply for a grant from the Chicago Coalition for Family Building (CCFB). We were overjoyed to learn we were selected as recipients. Words cannot explain how grateful we are of the assistance provided by CCFB and cannot wait to introduce our child to our families and the CCFB community!

Anthony and Tim are recipients of a Family Building Grant.